Why Do Cardigans Make Me Look Like a Narc?

and how do I fix it?

A few days ago, I woke up, opened the weather app, and smiled. It was 66 degrees, which means New York is (finally!) cooling off. My apologies to the eternal summer lovers, for I am not one of you. Perhaps it’s because this summer was especially taxing, but that gust of wind signaled a much-needed change.

I nearly floated out of bed as I walked toward my closet and reached for a cardigan. In mere moments, I would wrap myself in 100% cotton, sink into the couch, and gaze outside with my morning coffee. Then, reality hit...I hate how I look in cardigans. They’re great in theory, but something about them makes me look like a narc. Though I hope to appear as an effortlessly chic woman on the brink of adventure, I tend to feel like a frumpy hag who’s one inconvenience away from becoming a meme.

Despite this tragedy, I’ve collected cardigans throughout the years in hopes that one might actually work out. Which, in case you’re wondering, is how I’ve ended up with four perfectly nice sweaters, and absolutely no idea how to style them. Well, that ends now. Fall is here, and I hope to reach my full Practical Magic potential. Right now, I’ve got the basics down. I know most cardigans look good with denim. My question is, how can I make them look cool?

Seeing as I’m not the first person to experience this issue, I decided to begin my journey with some research. In 2024, The Cut published a newsletter called “How to Style a Cardigan Without Going Granny.” It’s essentially an ad for the Gap Cash-Soft collection, so there aren’t many applicable tips; however, I did glean that the line between cool-girl and AARP member isn’t as thin as I thought. Their photoshoot suggests that readers pair the cardigan with a delicate tank top or tough-looking jacket. With those adjustments, everyone managed to make the garment look unique — and that is precisely my issue. When I’ve tried to style a cardigan it feels like I’m missing the “it factor”

And so, I figured it was time to call in reinforcements. I needed someone with actual sartorial knowledge. Someone who could break down fashion concepts with precision. Enter, my most fabulous friend: Eunice Yvane Bruno. I once saw her wear a pair of capri-length cargos, and she managed to evoke the spirit of a ‘90s supermodel. I would’ve looked like Alyson Stoner in Cheaper by the Dozen, but that’s beside the point.

Eunice can style anything. Plus, she has the credentials for this mission, too. After four years studying fashion at Lasell University, she entered the editorial world. At first, she assisted the accessories department at Hearst, then worked her way up to a market editor (fancy term for the person who pulls clothing for photoshoots), fashion editor, stylist, and now, a Sample Manager at Spanx.

I have to admit, asking a friend how I should wear my own clothes was a tad embarrassing, but Eunice was as helpful as I imagined. With her guidance, we went through my closet and came up with three looks.

Ultimately I learned that a cardigan can be anything you want it to be. It can be a shirt, a jacket, or even, to my surprise, a scarf. I don’t think the latter works on me but if you’ve managed to sort that out just know I’m jealous. As I’ve mentioned, Eunice can style anything but I was surprised to watch how creative her mind is. With a few simple tricks, she made my items feel new again.

I was most surprised by her idea to turn an old treasure from Gap (remember that 100% cotton piece I mentioned) into a sexy little top. Instead of styling it with a white tank underneath, as I have many times before, Eunice paired the cardigan with my long slip skirt. She then advised that I pick out a cute bra and unbutton the top of the sweater to show a little skin. After that I paired the look with kitten heels, and suddenly felt like the controversially young, but elegant, girlfriend of a hot gay professor.

For her next magic trick, Eunice styled the most neglected piece in my closet — a perfectly nice Sezanne Gaspard cardigan. I bought it in Paris, and remember feeling incredibly cool when I tried it on in the store. But when I got back to New York I realized its flaws. Apparently, the sweater grows? I guess “billows” is the proper term, but it essentially stretches as you wear it. Yes, I’ve tried washing it. No, it doesn’t make a difference and that’s why it’s collecting dust. The color is beautiful, but I don’t feel great in a garment that both clings to and repels my hips.

Eunice had a simple suggestion. Tuck it in! I’d done that once with a pair of high waist jeans but it felt like a middle aged woman named Shirley. Shirley carries caramels in her pocket, and fusses over a fax machine. She sounds nice but I’m 27. Apparently, the solution is trousers. Despite my concerns with leaning too deep into secretary-core, the outfit managed to look cool. I don’t have an office to wear it to, but honestly, I’d wear it to drinks’ if the weather was right. I might even buy another one (but in a smaller size).

The last look was simple yet effective. And yeah, if you’re thinking, “didn’t she have four sweaters,” you’d be correct, but through this process I realized the fourth could use some alterations. Anyway, for Eunice’s third, and final, act of genius she fulfilled my dream of successfully wearing jeans and a cardigan. I spent two years searching for the perfect one, and last winter, I found it in a thrift store. It’s made of a soft black fabric, has a contrasting ribbon, and not-too-delicate white buttons. When I gave it to Eunice she paired the sweater with straight leg jeans, booties, and a silk cami. Never in my life have I paired a silk cami with a cardigan (I usually opt for a plain cotton tank, which can look a little boring), but guess what? It’s great. 10/10. Thank you, Eunice.

Ideally I’d summon Eunice anytime I’m sartorially stumped, but she lives in Brooklyn, and also, that’s a ridiculous ask. Instead, she left me with some sage-advice that I’ll share with you.

1. A cardigan can be anything.

2. Shop your own closet (that item you think you have to buy might already exist in a different iteration. Get creative!).

3. Pay attention to materials.

   1. Remember that fourth sweater? I couldn’t figure out why, but it felt a little cheap. Per Eunice’s suggestion, swapping the buttons (a shiny black plastic) for something more polished could give it a fresh feel. Tbd on if that actually happens, but I like the idea.

Well, that’s all folks! Thank you for reading this far. May we all have a narc-less fall. Or, at the very least a friend to help us through it.

xx,

B