Vol. 5 | Anger

On anger, letting go, and Lola Young's stunning album, 'This Wasn't Meant For You Anyway'

We’ve reached a new year, which means it’s time to reflect, reminisce, and plan ahead. Like clockwork, my timeline is ripe with year-end reviews. Some are downright motivational, and others make me want to throw my phone into the Hudson, but most are nice. I like seeing how everyone has changed—the places they went, the people they held, their smiles, accomplishments, and disappointments.

I wanted in on the fun, but my recap lacked context. I have photos of myself laughing and embracing others, evidence of my accomplishments, and memorabilia from when everything seemed to go wrong. It’s all there, but it seems hollow. Perhaps I’m thinking too hard about it, but I’ve been unable to create a photo collection that represents how 2024 made me feel. There is an album, though.

In October, I discovered Lola Young’s debut, This Wasn’t Meant For You Anyway. The LP explores female anger, disappointment, and sorrow in a way that is so poignant I’m surprised a 23-year-old wrote it. Her lyrics have the wisdom of an older sister, yet here I am, four years her senior, wishing we could discuss life over drinks.

Young voices every emotion she encounters — even the ugly ones — throughout the album. Especially the ugly ones. One moment, she yells, “You can eat shit / ‘Cause you fucked up my plans,” and in the next, whispers, “I tried my best not to love you tonight / And you noticed.” I don’t write music, but I do write often and struggle to display such vulnerability. In the past (days ago, even), I’ve attributed that ailment to something bigger than myself, specifically, the expectation that girls should be mindful, always so very mindful, of how our words affect others. Young, however, follows no such rules. And my god, is it refreshing.

This Wasn’t Meant For You Anyway is about heartbreak, and though I can’t directly relate to the subject matter, I share her sentiment. Like Young, I’ve been really angry, but while I bit my tongue, she gave that fury a voice. Her message is loud and clear: better out than in.

So here goes, 2024 made me feel helpless and sad. There were plenty of highs, but every peak came with a pit, like the realization that people are fickle and attention is hard to keep. I don’t know what ratio of happy to humbling photos can convey that, but listening to ”Good Books” seems to do the trick. Young references an ex in that song—whom the rest of the album appears to be written about—but she flips the script in the last track.

Here’s her spiel if you haven’t heard it:

This album is me discovering and trying to understand

Through my one and only true love, that is music

That I can too, be my one and only true love

That I can learn to heal alone

I can dance in the mirror and feel seen without being watched by someone

Especially not no ugly man or woman

That I can cry and feel every tear without needing a shoulder

And I haven't got there yet but I will

And when I do this album will be for me

And no one else, as it already is, but

I chat so much shit, and I'm really tryna say is

To anyone who's ever hurt me, thinks these songs are about them

This wasn't meant for you, anyway.

So, yes, the album is cathartic, but it’s less about yelling at someone and more about letting them go. Coincidentally, my yoga instructor appears to be on the same wavelength. Each week, she begins her class with an intention. Typically, we take a moment to set a goal for ourselves (be mindful of your breath, hold a challenging pose, put your brain on do-not-disturb, etc...), but on Saturday, she tried something new.

“I don’t know about you, but I’ve been really angry,” she said. “It’s hard to admit, but it’s true.” Then, she guided us through an exercise. We were asked to visualize someone who gave us trouble last year and wish them well. She ended class with a similar request—only this time, we had to visualize ourselves and bestow the same good fortune.

May you be happy

May you have peace

May you be free from pain and suffering

May you be loved.

It was a little woo-woo, but I think it worked? I won’t say my anger has been cured, but I feel ready to enter 2025 on a better note, offering myself room to express the ugly emotions that Young claims with such confidence. If you’re struggling to move on, I suggest you give this a shot. Think about whatever or whoever pissed you off last year, then extend some grace and let it go. If all else fails, listen to This Wasn’t Meant For You Anyway.

xx — B